It seems that as each new, year begins to unfold, it carries a theme. My theme for 2010 is leadership. I truly believe that a big part of God's purpose for me in this year is to hone and sharpen my leadership.
To that end I am reading some great stuff on the subject and came across the following. In Dan Allender's book, "Leading with a Limp", he writes about counting the cost of leadership which includes six realities: crisis, complexity, betrayal, loneliness, weariness and glory. I invite you to consider this quote:
"God pours out enough of His presence to keep us hooked. And God allures us to the point we want to know how the next episode of the story will turn out. God is playing out His plot, and reluctant and limping servants, while being humbled as leaders, are lifted up to see His glory."
It would be wonderful to get some discussion going around the subject of leadership in 2010. Feel free to comment.
Saturday, January 30, 2010
Saturday, November 22, 2008
I Have Gnats!
You know those pesky little critters that buzz around your head. I swat at them and they keep coming back! How can I get rid of these gnats?!
Gnats are small things I can handle, things I usually ignore like messy closets, a disorganized workspace, a crowded garage (more like a buzzard than a gnat at my house!), a car that needs tuning, niggling little things that require energy to swat at.
If I keep ignoring these annoying little gnats, they may bite me causing a lot of irritation and distraction. These gnats have become sufferings. A suffering is a big or chronic complaint that creates tension and crowds you. You are aware of how they diminish the quality of your life but accept them as normal because you don’t know what to do about them.
Are you identifying with me? Coaches call gnats and sufferings “Energy Drainers”.
What can we do?
Sit down and identify your personal gnats and sufferings. List as many as you can right now. Most gnats and sufferings come in the area of work and family/home. Start with these.
Count the cost. Anything you tolerate has a cost. The cost may be your own or others’ disappointment or it may be a loss of time spent doing something you love. One way you can count the cost is to ask yourself this question in regard to your gnats and sufferings
If I say yes to __________ I’m saying no to ____________.
If I say no to __________ I’m saying yes to ____________.
For instance, if I say yes to a cluttered, messy bedroom closet I am saying no to the sense of order and beauty that I value. I’m also saying no to time, because it takes me longer to find what I want.
Do something about each gnat and suffering if the cost is not worth it to you. Create a plan for eliminating each one completely. This might mean spending Saturday cleaning up the garage or setting a realistic completion date for a project that has been on your to do list for too long.
Some will disappear by themselves. Once you decide you will not tolerate gnats and sufferings anymore, some of them will just naturally disappear. Isn’t that awesome?
Neutralize them. In order to do this, your intention is to find a compromise, a solution that will work for now and that will take the emotional charge out of the situation like setting a realistic completion date for a project.
Convert them into learning opportunities or gratitudes. Some things like being the primary caregiver for an aging parent are unchangable facts in your life. Ask what you stand to gain from this experience. Arrange as much support as you can for yourself and acknowledge learning opportunities.
Update your list periodically. Add new energy drainers and eliminate those you have accomplished. Most of us have a few areas where they tend to collect. If you find they are at work, for example, take action! Do not let new ones accumulate or multiply there. One gnat attracts others – Soon you will have a swarm!
Coaching challenge: Go back over you list of energy drainers. Which are gnats and which are sufferings? Mark each with a ‘G’ or an ‘S’ to signify their magnitude.
Which can you address right away? Put a star by 2 that you will do something about within the next 2 days.
Eliminating energy drainers can result in more room to experience abundant life. That life is worth whatever it may cost me. Think about what you have to gain by saying no to the energy drainers in your life.
"Come, all you who are thirsty, come to the waters; and you who have no money, come, buy and eat! Come, buy wine and milk without money and without cost. Why spend money on what is not bread, and your labor on what does not satisfy? Listen, listen to me, and eat what is good, and your soul will delight in the richest of fare. “ Isaiah 55:1,2
Excuse me while I go clean my bedroom closet.
Sincerely,
Cindy
A good portion of this article is drawn from “Swat the Gnats and Stop the Suffering” by Diane Menendez and Sherry Lowry. To see the complete article and more go to http://sideroad.com/seamless
Gnats are small things I can handle, things I usually ignore like messy closets, a disorganized workspace, a crowded garage (more like a buzzard than a gnat at my house!), a car that needs tuning, niggling little things that require energy to swat at.
If I keep ignoring these annoying little gnats, they may bite me causing a lot of irritation and distraction. These gnats have become sufferings. A suffering is a big or chronic complaint that creates tension and crowds you. You are aware of how they diminish the quality of your life but accept them as normal because you don’t know what to do about them.
Are you identifying with me? Coaches call gnats and sufferings “Energy Drainers”.
What can we do?
Sit down and identify your personal gnats and sufferings. List as many as you can right now. Most gnats and sufferings come in the area of work and family/home. Start with these.
Count the cost. Anything you tolerate has a cost. The cost may be your own or others’ disappointment or it may be a loss of time spent doing something you love. One way you can count the cost is to ask yourself this question in regard to your gnats and sufferings
If I say yes to __________ I’m saying no to ____________.
If I say no to __________ I’m saying yes to ____________.
For instance, if I say yes to a cluttered, messy bedroom closet I am saying no to the sense of order and beauty that I value. I’m also saying no to time, because it takes me longer to find what I want.
Do something about each gnat and suffering if the cost is not worth it to you. Create a plan for eliminating each one completely. This might mean spending Saturday cleaning up the garage or setting a realistic completion date for a project that has been on your to do list for too long.
Some will disappear by themselves. Once you decide you will not tolerate gnats and sufferings anymore, some of them will just naturally disappear. Isn’t that awesome?
Neutralize them. In order to do this, your intention is to find a compromise, a solution that will work for now and that will take the emotional charge out of the situation like setting a realistic completion date for a project.
Convert them into learning opportunities or gratitudes. Some things like being the primary caregiver for an aging parent are unchangable facts in your life. Ask what you stand to gain from this experience. Arrange as much support as you can for yourself and acknowledge learning opportunities.
Update your list periodically. Add new energy drainers and eliminate those you have accomplished. Most of us have a few areas where they tend to collect. If you find they are at work, for example, take action! Do not let new ones accumulate or multiply there. One gnat attracts others – Soon you will have a swarm!
Coaching challenge: Go back over you list of energy drainers. Which are gnats and which are sufferings? Mark each with a ‘G’ or an ‘S’ to signify their magnitude.
Which can you address right away? Put a star by 2 that you will do something about within the next 2 days.
Eliminating energy drainers can result in more room to experience abundant life. That life is worth whatever it may cost me. Think about what you have to gain by saying no to the energy drainers in your life.
"Come, all you who are thirsty, come to the waters; and you who have no money, come, buy and eat! Come, buy wine and milk without money and without cost. Why spend money on what is not bread, and your labor on what does not satisfy? Listen, listen to me, and eat what is good, and your soul will delight in the richest of fare. “ Isaiah 55:1,2
Excuse me while I go clean my bedroom closet.
Sincerely,
Cindy
A good portion of this article is drawn from “Swat the Gnats and Stop the Suffering” by Diane Menendez and Sherry Lowry. To see the complete article and more go to http://sideroad.com/seamless
Tuesday, September 2, 2008
Where Are You Headed?
Try this. Stand up. Focus on an object in the distance. Balance on one foot. Now close your eyes. What happens? I don’t know about you, but I loose my balance and tip over! Focus creates balance. Here’s another illustration. Say you are driving and take your eyes off the road to gawk at something fascinating along the highway. What happens to your vehicle? It heads in the direction you are looking! We move toward what we are focused on. I just bought a new car, an Impala. Suddenly I see Impalas all over the place! People in my neighborhood did not go out and buy the cars overnight. I am just noticing all the Impalas around me. What we focus on increases.
We move toward what we focus on. What we focus on increases. What are you focusing on? If we are focused on the problems in our life, pretty soon, all we can see are difficulties. Positive focus brings balance, direction and increase, more of what we want in our lives. We need positive focus and a compelling vision to focus on in order to move toward the life we desire.
How do we gain focus and vision? One way is to use a process called “Appreciative Inquiry.”
When we focus on problems the questions we ask ourselves are deficit based. It is very difficult to formulate a compelling vision from this perspective. When we focus on strengths, potential and where we want to be, we ask a very different set of questions. We ask questions that are asset based, very positive in focus, giving us a compelling vision to move toward.
We move toward what we focus on. What we focus on increases. What are you focusing on? If we are focused on the problems in our life, pretty soon, all we can see are difficulties. Positive focus brings balance, direction and increase, more of what we want in our lives. We need positive focus and a compelling vision to focus on in order to move toward the life we desire.
How do we gain focus and vision? One way is to use a process called “Appreciative Inquiry.”
“Appreciative Inquiry” is an approach to change that focuses and builds onOrganizations have been using this process to gain focus and vision for many years. We can apply the process of “Appreciative Inquiry” on a personal level as well.
strengths and potential. This process maintains that a change of perspective,
such as focusing on and asking questions about positive characteristics rather
than focusing on negative aspects such as problems, needs, and deficits, can
inspire an image of what the future could be, mobilizing positive creative
energy and initiating a process of discovery and change (adapted from BNET
Business Dictionary).
When we focus on problems the questions we ask ourselves are deficit based. It is very difficult to formulate a compelling vision from this perspective. When we focus on strengths, potential and where we want to be, we ask a very different set of questions. We ask questions that are asset based, very positive in focus, giving us a compelling vision to move toward.
Deficit Based: What’s wrong with me? What’s wrong with them? Why can’t I get better at this? Why does this always happen to me? Why bother? How can I avoid this?
Asset Based: When have I been successful in the past? What are my strengths and talents? What do I love? What am I passionate about? What wonderful thing could happen in this situation? What actions can I begin experimenting with?
One final question. If you woke up in the morning and you had the life of your dreams, what would be different?
I would love to hear what you discover as you ponder this, taking an appreciative look at your life, gaining positive focus and a compelling vision t o move toward.
I leave you with this. “Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.” Phillipians 4:8.
Sincerely,
Cindy
Thursday, July 31, 2008
Where Do I Fit?
Do you ever feel like the missing piece of a puzzle looking for a place to fit, wondering about your purpose and place in the “big picture”? Just as a puzzle piece is uniquely shaped, you are uniquely shaped to fill a certain place in the “big picture” by fulfilling your God given life purpose. Newsflash! The “big picture” is not complete without you.
Every part, every moment of your life, your relationships, your work and ministry, offers opportunities to fulfill your life purpose. Opportunities to fill that place you uniquely fit into. You will experience great satisfaction and peace when you are fulfilling your life purpose. Knowing your purpose gives you incredible power to make choices and to act. How do we discover our life purpose? Recently I was inspired to consider this quote from Frederick Buechner, Presbyterian Minister and author, “The place God has for you is the place your deep gladness and the world’s deep hunger meet.”
What is your deep gladness? What are you passionate about? Remember a time in your life when you were most fulfilled. A time when you knew you were at the right place, at the right time, using your gifts, in the flow, having great impact. What was happening? What were you experiencing? How were you being? What message were you conveying?
I recall times of experiencing deep gladness, times when I knew that I was doing what I was created to do. I was being passionate, peaceful, and purposeful, and connected. There is a common theme that runs through those memories. I feel the most fulfilled, when I am using my gifts to restore healthy relationships, establishing and renewing heart connections. This is where my deep gladness meets the world’s deep hunger.
Our life purpose calls us forth. It has been with us since we were very young. In fact some of us have experienced that call so loudly in midlife that we step off of the path we are on to search for fulfillment, a return to the real satisfaction we glimpsed many years ago. What were you like as a child? What did you love? Look back and see the glimmer of what you are created for.
David was the shepherd boy who slew the giant Goliath and became King of Israel. He has been remembered for centuries as a shepherd of the people and renowned as a warrior king, a leader of mighty men - a man after God’s own heart. Acts 13:36 says this of King David, "David…served God's purpose in his own generation…” What is your purpose in your own generation?
I would love to hear what you think about that question. You can contact me at Coach_Cindy@hotmail.com or call 505-632-1998 and we can schedule a complimentary coaching session to begin discovering where you fit in “the big picture”.
Sincerely,
Cindy
Every part, every moment of your life, your relationships, your work and ministry, offers opportunities to fulfill your life purpose. Opportunities to fill that place you uniquely fit into. You will experience great satisfaction and peace when you are fulfilling your life purpose. Knowing your purpose gives you incredible power to make choices and to act. How do we discover our life purpose? Recently I was inspired to consider this quote from Frederick Buechner, Presbyterian Minister and author, “The place God has for you is the place your deep gladness and the world’s deep hunger meet.”
What is your deep gladness? What are you passionate about? Remember a time in your life when you were most fulfilled. A time when you knew you were at the right place, at the right time, using your gifts, in the flow, having great impact. What was happening? What were you experiencing? How were you being? What message were you conveying?
I recall times of experiencing deep gladness, times when I knew that I was doing what I was created to do. I was being passionate, peaceful, and purposeful, and connected. There is a common theme that runs through those memories. I feel the most fulfilled, when I am using my gifts to restore healthy relationships, establishing and renewing heart connections. This is where my deep gladness meets the world’s deep hunger.
Our life purpose calls us forth. It has been with us since we were very young. In fact some of us have experienced that call so loudly in midlife that we step off of the path we are on to search for fulfillment, a return to the real satisfaction we glimpsed many years ago. What were you like as a child? What did you love? Look back and see the glimmer of what you are created for.
David was the shepherd boy who slew the giant Goliath and became King of Israel. He has been remembered for centuries as a shepherd of the people and renowned as a warrior king, a leader of mighty men - a man after God’s own heart. Acts 13:36 says this of King David, "David…served God's purpose in his own generation…” What is your purpose in your own generation?
I would love to hear what you think about that question. You can contact me at Coach_Cindy@hotmail.com or call 505-632-1998 and we can schedule a complimentary coaching session to begin discovering where you fit in “the big picture”.
Sincerely,
Cindy
Wednesday, July 2, 2008
Living from Deep Roots
Do you ever find yourself bored, bugged, on the edge of burnout or just in a comfortable rut? I sure do! What is this all about? Maybe we are living our lives outside of what we truly value.
Living according to our values brings fulfillment, satisfaction and good fruit. Living outside of our values causes a sense of disharmony and discontent. If your life and work aren’t aligned with your values, you may be getting results, but you are unlikely to be thriving or experiencing full satisfaction. It is vital to understand our values in order to align our actions with them.
Think of your life as a tree, your roots are your values, the qualities of who you are and who you want to be. Your branches and the fruit they bear are your habits or actions that reflect your deep values. What do your good habits and actions say about your values, your quality of being?
I asked myself this question and this is what I found. I make my bed every day – I value order. I exercise often and try to eat right (step away from the brownies, Cindy!) – I value health. I plant flowers and love to watch them grow – I value beauty. Take a thoughtful moment to ask yourself this question. Write down what you discover. You may be pleasantly surprised.
Try this. Think about the music you listen to regularly, and consider the values this music represents. This can be an eye opener (or ear opener, as it may be). Listen again to some of your favorite songs, paying special attention to the lyrics. Describe which values the songs seem to promote.
Some of my favorite music is country western. The rhythms and the lyrics speak to my soul. Songs like, “I Believe” by Brooks and Dunn, “Livin’ Our Love Song” by Michael Jason Carrol and “I Want to Live” by Josh Gracin, bring tears to my eyes and a thrill to my heart. The values expressed in these songs are; life in Gods word, committed relationships and passion for an authentic life. I guess the reason they touch me so, is that these are some of my values too.
How can I align my actions with these values? I can spend time daily soaking up the Word of God. I can continue to pursue a growing, loving relationship with my husband of 25 years. I can make choices to live passionately and authentically, true to my values, taking appropriate risks to that end. What will you do to align your actions with the values you are discovering?
This may be the beginning of finding your deep roots. Maybe you are just beginning to think about changing some habits and determining actions that align with your values so that your life is more fulfilling and satisfying, bearing good fruit. I encourage you in your discovery and would be happy to assist you. Write to me at Coach_Cindy@hotmail.com and we will schedule a ½ hour complimentary coaching session around values.
Remember the analogy of the tree I mentioned earlier? I leave you with Jeremiah 17:7, 8,
Living according to our values brings fulfillment, satisfaction and good fruit. Living outside of our values causes a sense of disharmony and discontent. If your life and work aren’t aligned with your values, you may be getting results, but you are unlikely to be thriving or experiencing full satisfaction. It is vital to understand our values in order to align our actions with them.
Think of your life as a tree, your roots are your values, the qualities of who you are and who you want to be. Your branches and the fruit they bear are your habits or actions that reflect your deep values. What do your good habits and actions say about your values, your quality of being?
I asked myself this question and this is what I found. I make my bed every day – I value order. I exercise often and try to eat right (step away from the brownies, Cindy!) – I value health. I plant flowers and love to watch them grow – I value beauty. Take a thoughtful moment to ask yourself this question. Write down what you discover. You may be pleasantly surprised.
Try this. Think about the music you listen to regularly, and consider the values this music represents. This can be an eye opener (or ear opener, as it may be). Listen again to some of your favorite songs, paying special attention to the lyrics. Describe which values the songs seem to promote.
Some of my favorite music is country western. The rhythms and the lyrics speak to my soul. Songs like, “I Believe” by Brooks and Dunn, “Livin’ Our Love Song” by Michael Jason Carrol and “I Want to Live” by Josh Gracin, bring tears to my eyes and a thrill to my heart. The values expressed in these songs are; life in Gods word, committed relationships and passion for an authentic life. I guess the reason they touch me so, is that these are some of my values too.
How can I align my actions with these values? I can spend time daily soaking up the Word of God. I can continue to pursue a growing, loving relationship with my husband of 25 years. I can make choices to live passionately and authentically, true to my values, taking appropriate risks to that end. What will you do to align your actions with the values you are discovering?
This may be the beginning of finding your deep roots. Maybe you are just beginning to think about changing some habits and determining actions that align with your values so that your life is more fulfilling and satisfying, bearing good fruit. I encourage you in your discovery and would be happy to assist you. Write to me at Coach_Cindy@hotmail.com and we will schedule a ½ hour complimentary coaching session around values.
Remember the analogy of the tree I mentioned earlier? I leave you with Jeremiah 17:7, 8,
"But blessed is the man who trusts in the LORD, whose confidence is in him.
He will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out its roots by the stream.
It does not fear when heat comes; its leaves are always green.
It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit."
Sincerely,
Cindy
Cindy
Monday, April 14, 2008
"Why Can't I Get Anything Done!?" or "What Do I Need To Be My Best Self?"
You know, I set these wonderful intentions to work on raising my level of satisfaction with life, and I can't seem to meet them. Sound familiar? What's up here? What is keeping me from fulfilling these great intentions I have?
I continue to make new discoveries. One of the most recent, I need space!
So, what kind of space do I need? There are five spaces that are basic to all of us: physical, time, mental, emotional and spiritual.
The space I have felt most "cramped" in lately is my mental space.
In her book, "Simply Coaching", Lynn McIntyre Coffey, MBA writes, "When our mental space is cluttered we have difficulty focusing, difficulty being present. We drift from thought to thought."
I can sure relate! My ability to bring my best self to my coaching, the intentions I set and my relationships is seriously compromised. Creativity is virtually non-existant and I feel dull and overwhelmed. I can't get anything done!
Lynn goes on to say, "To create mental space, let's begin by looking at the things that are bugging us: unfinished projects, repairs, making do, unresolved issues of our past, making necessary plans for an upcoming event or project. Whatever grabs our mind and takes it off our focus should be handled."
So, what is bugging me? What is unfinished? What am I putting off? Do you want the whole list? I won't bore you with all the details, but I will tell you that I am paying attention to the things that are grabbing my mind and taking it off of my focus and my good intentions. And I am"handling" those things. As I do this I can sense the space or room that is made for dreaming. Vision and creativity are blossoming again. I have more energy and focus to accomplish those things I intend to do.
Some of my intentions have been: regular physical excercise and daily prayer. Guess what! These activities clear my mind and create even more space! Wow!
I find that as I clear my mental space, I am able to be much more present in all I am doing, truly bringing more of my best self to the table whether it is in my work and ministry or with my family and friends. I can relax in this. This is good.
Are you interested in more from Lynn McIntyre Coffey? You can find her at www.simplycoaching.com.
I continue to make new discoveries. One of the most recent, I need space!
So, what kind of space do I need? There are five spaces that are basic to all of us: physical, time, mental, emotional and spiritual.
The space I have felt most "cramped" in lately is my mental space.
In her book, "Simply Coaching", Lynn McIntyre Coffey, MBA writes, "When our mental space is cluttered we have difficulty focusing, difficulty being present. We drift from thought to thought."
I can sure relate! My ability to bring my best self to my coaching, the intentions I set and my relationships is seriously compromised. Creativity is virtually non-existant and I feel dull and overwhelmed. I can't get anything done!
Lynn goes on to say, "To create mental space, let's begin by looking at the things that are bugging us: unfinished projects, repairs, making do, unresolved issues of our past, making necessary plans for an upcoming event or project. Whatever grabs our mind and takes it off our focus should be handled."
So, what is bugging me? What is unfinished? What am I putting off? Do you want the whole list? I won't bore you with all the details, but I will tell you that I am paying attention to the things that are grabbing my mind and taking it off of my focus and my good intentions. And I am"handling" those things. As I do this I can sense the space or room that is made for dreaming. Vision and creativity are blossoming again. I have more energy and focus to accomplish those things I intend to do.
Some of my intentions have been: regular physical excercise and daily prayer. Guess what! These activities clear my mind and create even more space! Wow!
I find that as I clear my mental space, I am able to be much more present in all I am doing, truly bringing more of my best self to the table whether it is in my work and ministry or with my family and friends. I can relax in this. This is good.
Are you interested in more from Lynn McIntyre Coffey? You can find her at www.simplycoaching.com.
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